this fucking matter had been dragging for god knows how long.
its finally happening.
i was filled with hope each time we met, hoping that we could be like last time.
but no.
i get disappointed each time, confidence were lost.
soon i gave up.
eventually i dont even remember how dear you were to me.
where were all the little secrets we used to share.
you told me ive changed.
i know i did and so have you.
its my fault that i didn't understand, its my fault that i didn't know.
but how the fuck should i know/understand when you tell me nothing in the first place.
how the fuck should i care when you don't even share?
now we don't even know what caused all the changes.
friends? acquaintances? strangers?
yeah move on.
count me out from your life.
im moving on with my NEW life.
i don't smoke, i don't go around having ONS, i don't take drugs
thank you for reminding me.
you dont have to explain or reason anything.
i dont even know who you are anymore.
our plans to meet up again happily with our kids,
our plans to meet up when we're 40 years old
i cant see them now.

so long, take care my friend.
goodbye.

tears, they fall.